The Whiskey Journal

I’m a writer for The Whiskey Journal, a Chicago-based independent Onion of sorts. So, satirical news. My articles are below.

Newly Discovered Rough Drafts Of Hemingway’s Famous Six-Word Story

Woman Not Thrilled To Be Compared To A Brick House

Couple Mistakes Crippling Codependency For True Love

One Year Old Has No Idea He’s Having A Birthday

Joe Biden Quietly Waiting For His Nude Photos To Leak

Bigfoot Sends Blurry Dick Pic

Man Alone At Party Pretending To Read Texts Not Fooling Anyone

Roommate’s Passive Aggressive Note Sure To Solve Dishes Conflict

Television/Live Shows

I currently write for The Whiskey Journal LIVE!, a live news-inspired variety/talk show. Based on the excellent satire website, The Whiskey Journal, this show is currently in its second season at The Lincoln Lodge–the nation’s longest-running independent comedy showcase.
Fall 2013-Present

I write for The Mystery Hour, a half-hour talk show based in Springfield, MO. Starring Jeff Houghton, it features sketches, interviews, and jokes. Watch full episodes and sketches online! Here is the writers’ bio page. The show is currently in its 3rd season on television (and I’ve lost count of how many seasons of just being a live show), and it is taped monthly at the Gillioz Theater in Springfield, Missouri.

Fair City News (“‘The Onion’ of the Ozarks”)

Sufjan Stevens writes “Missouri Loves Company” (FCN)

Silver Dollar City Plans Underground Railroad-themed Ride (FCN)

Hipster Discovers He is a Hipster (FCN)

Meth Addict Wins Costume Contest (FCN)

Pokemon Card Player Has Attractive Girlfriend (FCN)

High School Sweethearts Break Up In College (FCN)

The Zodiac Sells Out (FCN)

Safe Place Sign Scares Locals (FCN)

Local Couple Gets Married In Order to Have Sex (FCN)

Hipster Refuses to Remove Beanie, Suffers Heat Stroke (FCN)

Car Sale Increases Drive-By Shootings (FCN)

Banned Book Becomes Top-Seller (FCN)

Human Models Put Mannequins Out of Work (FCN)

Rush Limbaugh Bust Put Under Surveillance (FCN)

Man Visits Ozark Empire Fair to Raise Self Esteem (FCN)

Some Republicans Actually Still Have Todd Akin Signs in Their Yards (FCN)

Better Book Titles (betterbooktitles.com)

Better title for “Ender’s Game” by Orson Scott Card.

“Animal Farm” published by Betterbooktitles.com

“The Hunger Games” betterbooktitles.com

“Inherit The Wind” better book title

“Oh, The Places You’ll Go” Better Book Title

“Mein Kampf” Better Book Title (I promise I haven’t actually read this)


I did not (repeat I DID NOT) write this article from The Onion, but they did use my picture. Which is pretty cool. “I Wonder If My Roommate Can Hear My Girlfriend And Me Firing Civil War Cannons”

I have no idea how this happened, but I was once briefly the log-in face of Tumblr! And I don’t even have a tumblr!



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