A Critical Analysis of Donald Trump’s Official Campaign Jam

Over the past two and a half years I’ve had a variety of careers, spanning from retail, to dog-walking, to unemployed. This is, of course, because I have an degree in English. It’s been a few years since I’ve had to write literary criticism, but I’ve decided to dust off the ol’ analysis muscles (I should probably work on my metaphors, too) and write a Critical Analysis of Donald Trump’s Official Campaign Jam.

If you aren’t familiar, a video has been released that is a 10 out of 10 nightmare, featuring three brain-washed pageant victims, the youngest of whom I can only assume is a future Mrs. Donald Trump (she’ll probably supersede whomever he marries after he divorces Melania). These three adorable hostages spend two minutes chant-singing a North Korean propagandaesque Madlib about patriotism to a crowd of adoring Trumpsters.

I’ll be breaking down “Donald Trump’s Campaign Jam’s” lyrics, analyzing their meaning despite their inaneness, while giving subjective criticism regarding the “song’s” structure and use of poetic devices. And while I’m not qualified to critique dancing in any way, I’ll also be providing an appropriately vague evaluation of the awful choreography.

OK, let’s get into the first stanza of America’s Suicide Note:

[First Stanza]

Cowardice (are you serious?)/
Freedom (I can’t handle this)/

The song starts with the word “cowardice,” followed by a rhetorical question, which I think is an objectively weak start to any song, especially one about the supposed strength of a Presidential candidate.  The next line is just the word “freedom,” as if it’s related to “cowardice,” which doesn’t make any sense, and then the backup vocals shout “I can’t handle this,” as a weak slant rhyme with “serious.” I can’t tell if the backup vocals in the end of the first couplet are supposed to be in response to “freedom” (though it would make sense for Trump to have women saying that they “can’t handle” freedom), or to the first set of background vocals. Either way, the song already sounds exasperated and nonsensical at the same time.

When freedom rings (answer the call)/
On your feet (stand up tall)/
Freedom’s on our shoulders (USA!)

There’s some fun word play in that first line, though the next two lines seem to not relate whatsoever to each other, to the “freedom rings” line, or to the first two lines in the stanza. Lines three and four have the feel of internal rhyme, but then line five—which contains the strange idea that freedom is “on our shoulders”, as if freedom is either a pressuring, guilting force weightily thrust upon us or a weakened ally we have to prop up and carry, the latter not speaking very highly of the strength of the concept of freedom—ends in yelling “USA!,” which not only rhymes with NOTHING, after an attempt at a rhyme scheme has been established, but feels like a last-minute, thoughtless addition to distract from how terrible this tune’s writing is.

OK, next stanza.

[Second Stanza]

Enemies of freedom/
Face the music (c’mon boys, take ‘em down!)/

Wow, too many syllables. This doesn’t work at all. Also, while there is something very creepy about a child calling for the death of an unnamed enemy group to a mob of strangers, I’m more disturbed by the use of the metaphor “face the music,” mostly because it reminds me that instead of hearing this confusing murder anthem, I could be listening to actual music.

President Donald Trump knows how/
To make America Great/
Deal (?) from strength or get crushed every time

OK, so has our lyricist just totally given up on rhyme scheme already? We couldn’t even make it one full stanza without abandoning the thing that makes a song memorable and catchy. Next, I should explain, the reason there is a question mark next to the word “deal” in line 10 because I have no idea what these all-American The Shining Triplets are saying. It sounds like “deal,” which doesn’t make any sense in the context of the rest of that line. “Deal from strength” wouldn’t technically be a ungrammatical, I suppose, but also it makes no sense.

(“musical” break…bad dancing occurs)

[Chorus…yes, there is a chorus]

Over here (USA!)/
Over there (USA!)/
Freedom and liberty everywhere/
Oh say can you see/
It’s not so easy/
But we have to stand up tall and answer freedom’s call

Gonna be honest, I totally forgot to interpret these lyrics because this is the part in the video where all the un-hooded white supremacists start clapping off-beat in the background, and my brain just glitched out for a few seconds.

(“musical” break…more bad dancing occurs)

[Third Stanza]

USA (USA!)/
USA (USA!)/
We’re the land of the free and the home of the brave (USA!)/
The stars and stripes are flying/
Let’s celebrate our freedom/
Inspire, proudly freedom to the world

This is easily the laziest stanza yet. I appreciate the use of the poetic device repetition for sure, but hollering “USA” four times in place of any other lyrics isn’t making an idea or the overall piece any clearer. That last line needs a comma somewhere, and I placed one where I think it is supposed to go. But it could also be “Inspire proudly, freedom to the world,” as if the two things are related but separate ideas. Either way, I don’t buy it, as Trump and his supporters appear to be deathly afraid of most of the rest of the world.

You’ll notice the word and idea of freedom getting thrown around a lot in these lyrics. Freedom is “on our shoulders,” it has enemies, it rings and has a call to be answered, it is supposed to be inspired to the world, it is “everywhere” (joined by its sidekick and synonym, Liberty)… Not to doubt the vastness of what Freedom could be, but I’m pretty sure based on the way the word is being carelessly tossed about, Donald Trump doesn’t actually have a clue what freedom means.

[Fourth Stanza]

Ameritude (USA!)/
American pride (USA!)/
It’s attitude, it’s who we are, stand up tall/

I can’t tell if this first line—“Ameritude”—is a rejected portmanteau from The Colbert Report, or if it’s something Melania Trump said by mistake one day, believing it to be a real word. That isn’t my issue with this stanza, though. My issue is its rhyming (or rather, attempt at internal rhyming) the fake word “Ameritude” with the real word “attitude,” which is just one of the core words which composes the fake word. That’s like defining a word by using that same word in a sentence! Also, the third line of this stanza has a troublingly awkward rhythm.

We’re the red, white, and blue/
We’re fiercely free, that’s who/
Our colors don’t run, no siree!

While the line, “We’re the white, white, and white,” may have been more accurate, I get that they were trying to employ the imagery of the American flag, and also rhyme with “who” in the following line—oh hey, a rhyming couplet is back for no reason! These lyrics are not good, no siree!

(“musical” break…one girl tries a tragically lame jump, with help, followed by a very enthusiastic “roll that dough” type arm dance from the group)

[Chorus]

Over here (USA!)/
Over there (USA!)/
Freedom and liberty everywhere/
Oh say can you see/
It’s not so easy/
But we have to stand up tall and answer freedom’s call

This is easily the catchiest part of the song, mostly because it uses rhyme the most. But that isn’t saying much, as every stanza is remarkably unmemorable. And still, when it comes to making sense, having a good rhythm flow, and not being sung by dolled up children, the lyrics of the chorus are still an absolute train wreck. But, really that makes sense—being a nonsensical, overly-confident disaster is very “on-brand” for the Trump Campaign so far. So, really, the whole thing pretty well done.

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