Facts About Italy

In a few days I’ll be embarking on an adventure to Italy. Last summer my need to adventure brought me to Australia (and earlier this summer to Chicago), and it is actually through a friendship made on my trip through Australia that I am able to travel to Europe.

italymap

I’ll be writing during my trip, but I may not be able to blog until I get back, as I’m not taking my computer with me as I hike and ride trains through Italy. Just as I retold my Australian stories, I’ll do the same for Italy. And just as I made a list of all the things I knew about Australia before I left, I’ve made a list of everything I know about Italy.

Facts About Italy:

All Italian boots are shaped like the country itself. All Italian boots are uncomfortable.

Ouija is a type of pasta that conjures the dead.

Mount Vesuvius is filled with boiling hot molten wine.

Public transportation is a series of big pipes.

“To never trust an Italian woman” is the moral of every single story by Ernest Hemingway.

Ravioli is currency.

Locals sneeze onto strangers’ meatballs constantly.

Every time a tourist pretends to hold up the Leaning Tower of Pisa in a photo, they are put on a secret “Kill List” by the Cosa Nostra.

All dads are named either Giovani, Antonio, or Luigi.

“Blue (Da Ba Dee)” by Eiffel 65 is the National Anthem.

A shortcut to speaking Italian is to speak Spanish while winedrunk.

The Italian version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have the names Andy, Jackson, Georgia, and Edward.

Most of the major roads lead to Rome.

Unlimited Breadsticks.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Facts About Italy

  1. Pingback: Preface to Italy | [The website and blog of] Tyler Snodgrass

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s