Fake Spoilers for Django Unchained

If you plan on seeing the instant Christmas-classic, Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained, it might just blow your mind. To mentally prepare yourself for this movie, I highly suggest you read these fake spoilers, so you know what to not expect.

  • Django Unchained is the prequel to Lincoln.
  • Throughout the entire movie Christopher Waltz is dressed in blackface, and Jamie Foxx in whiteface.
  • Django is an expert locksmith.
  • Christopher Waltz’s character was trained by Boba Fett.
  • Jamie Foxx’s character keeps seeing hallucinations of his wife. His character and Leonardo DiCaprio’s character bond over this fact later int he movie.
  • Every font used in the film is Jokerman.
  • If you pay attention, there are several subtle clues in the background, perhaps leading you to believe that the setting is actually FUTURECANADA.
  • The last half is a musical.
  • Samuel L. Jackson’s character, a slave, and Leonardo DiCaprio’s character, a slave master, are actually the same person–a schizophrenic vision created by Jackson’s character. To set himself free, Jackson’s character shoots himself through the cheek and then listens to Pixies.
  • Django shoots and kills a lot, a lot of people. But it’s only because he plays so many first-person shooters.
  • Like most of Tarantino’s films, the movie clocks in at a nice 83 minutes.

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