Spelling Made E-Z!

Hello, Reader! Are you one of those people that can read even the longest and and complex words–ostentatious words, if you will–any time you want? But you still have trouble spelling even the shortest and simplest words–vacuous, or “dumb-kid” words, if you will–when forced to write on your own? Well you must be if you are reading this special guide made just for people like you. The makers of Spelling Made E-Z! understand that this disconnect between reading and spelling is a serious issue for tens to dozens of Americans all over the world. This guide is here to help by using unique mnemonic devices to help you remember exactly how to spell those short, stupid words, which plague you.

This first chapter will cover how to spell three different words using simple association strategies. Starting, appropriately, with the word “EASY.”

1. Easy. Easy can mean a lot of different things–achieved without much effort; a simple lifestyle; a young woman with a lower back tattoo–but that doesn’t mean it is always easy to spell, though it should be!

First, spell the word just how it sounds, as if it were composed of letters: “E” and “Z.” Just like the title of this book! You should remember from elementary school that Z is the last letter of the alphabet, and that A is the first. Tell yourself the Z needs to be balanced out, and throw an A in there! Now it should look like “EAZ” (pronounced “ease”). If it is pronounced “ease” then you know there needs to be that “ee” sound at the end. To do that, act like you are spelling the second syllable, or the letter Z out phonetically: “ZEE.” Obviously, you wouldn’t add a second Z, because that would be ridiculous, but add those two E’s to your word to spell “EAZEE.” Pretend your Z is looking in a mirror (maybe one of those funhouse mirrors that make you twisty or fat!)–now your Z is an S. Your word now should be spelled “EASEE” and you are almost there, friend. Now, of course, is when we incorporate some math into your spelling. You probably remember your times tables, right? Then you should know that 5 times 5 is 25. Check this out: E is the fifth letter in the alphabet, and Y is the 25th letter in the alphabet! So take those two E’s at the end, multiply them together, and you get a Y! Now, in just a few easy steps, you have made the word “EASY” just that.

Great job! Are you ready for the next word?

2. Treat. Treat also has many meanings–to deal with in a certain way; something pleasurable or real tasty-like–and soon spelling “treat” will be as much a treat as spelling “easy!”

To start this word, simply spell the word “TREE.” If you don’t know how to spell “TREE,” then either skip to chapter six, or look it up. This next part is easy: you can tell that “TREE” alone is missing that “tuh” sound at the end, which “TREAT” has–especially if you pronounce it like “TREATuh”–so add a “T” to the end. Now you should have the word “TREET,” which is really close! If you look at the word written on your paper, and think about what you might do with a treat, you should remember that you eat a treat, you don’t “eet” a treat. So get that second E out of there, and replace the erased E with an A, because the most-correctly spelled words are the ones with related words inside of them (for example, “ear” is in “hear,” and “a” is in “singular”). There, you’ve just spelled “TREAT!” If that seemed too simple and you want to check your work with another mnemonic, then remember that “TREAT” can also look like “Tr. Eat,” where “Tr.” means “Troctor,” as in a doctor that also drives a tractor, and “Eat” is what he does: he eats, like most doctors and tractor operators do.

Well done! Seriously, you are killing it! Here is the last word in this chapter.

3. Ape. Ape has just one meaning: big monkey. Though the definition is simple, spelling it can be tricky, so pay careful attention to this mnemonic.

“APE” sounds just like the number 8, so start by spelling out that number: E-I-G-H-T. Next, get rid of that “IGHT,” because only people who don’t care about proper English say “’Ight” (as opposed to “alright”), and you certainly aren’t one of those people if you are using this guide! Once you’ve erased those four letters, you are left with the word “E.” Now, E is the foundation for this word–or think of it like this: you are “at E.” “At E.” If you shove all of that together, you get “ATE,” which, like “EIGHT,” sounds similar to “APE,” which is the word we are trying to spell, in case you’ve forgotten. In order to complete the next step of this spelling mnemonic, wait until you have to go to the bathroom. Once you’ve returned from doing your business, think: what did you wipe with? Yes, hopefully with some toilet paper, or “TP” for short. With TP on your mind, think to replace the T in your current word with a P. And you’ve just spelled “APE”!

Congratulations on your successful spelling, you genius. You may now continue to the next chapter 2.

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