Easter Carols From a Band Called MOUTH!

After months of joking around with friend and fellow improviser, Dan Clair, about what the worst or stupidest band possible could be, we settled on a band called MOUTH (not necessarily spelled with capital letters–it isn’t an acronym or anything–but you have to shout when you say it) that sings really nice, boring songs about accidentally getting too busy to attend a grandfather’s birthday or driving in a Ford Taurus, to the tune of Cake’s “The Distance” (and only the chorus part). We pitched this idea to Jeff Houghton in hopes of getting it on his show, The Mystery Hour, a live semi-improvised talk show in Springfield, MO. For a few more months we talked about the characters of the band a bit more (that they should make all sort of jokes about actually being a mouth, for example) and what they should do musically (an idea was even to not have them play any songs, but just to hype them up and forget to play). Last year, Jeff asked me to write a bit for his show about Easter Carols, since they’re aren’t any (and what’s up with that!?), and I knew MOUTH had to be the guys to sing these absurd carols to the world.

Above is the video of MOUTH’s debut–full of costumes, not-quite accents, really dark Easter carols, and a few karate kicks. Somewhere out there in the world is some audio and also video (not together) of MOUTH also singing Columbus Day carols–songs like “What Land is This?” and “O Come, All Ye Natives!” If I can ever find it, I’ll be sure to put it up this October.

Anyway, happy Easter, and here are the lyrics to these messed up carols:

“The Easter Song”

Bunny roasting on an open fire,
caught trespassin’  in my yard.
He was carryin’ eggs, that ain’t natural,

So I shot him–
nieces weeping,
they had witnessed
traumatizing rabbit homicide of a beloved holiday icon.

“The Worst Pastel”

Pastel, pastel, pastel,
Easter time means all colors must be pastel.

The worst pastel is all of them,
from your marshmallow Peeps to your Sunday dress.
Colors cover the yard as we search for eggs
and we run and we play, except for the boy with no legs.

“Don’t Fear The Easter”

Easter time is come,
there’s no need to run.

Seasons don’t fear the Easter,
especially not the Spring,
’cause that is when it happens,
don’t fear the Easter,
baby take my hand,
don’t fear the Easter… (MOUTH fades themselves off stage)

Bonus fun: if you are into really cool instrument jazz and funk stuff, check out a REAL band called Mouth: http://www.abandcalledmouth.com/ I’ve seen them live, they are cool guys, and they are fans of my band MOUTH, too.


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